February 11, 2022
I didn’t think it was possible for remotely responsible government officials to lend legitimacy to any half-baked idea more obscene than the Prince William Digital Gateway.” But our guardians of the public trust have truly outdone themselves by letting the ridiculous House Farm rezoning proposal breathe fresh air.
It makes me think that maybe the county could sponsor a “race to the bottom” contest. Contestants could send in their ideas for who can ruin the county fastest and in the most offensive manner. Maybe we could turn Prince William Forest Park into an open pit coal mine. Quantico National Cemetery could be repurposed for tractor pulls or demolition derbies. Manassas National Battlefield Park would make a great toxic waste dump, entirely compatible with the adjacent data center theme park. It would be hard to top the odious ideas currently under consideration by our county officials, but let our creative citizenry give it a try.
The winner would then be given the honor of renaming the county planning office. Since it obviously has nothing to do with planning, maybe we could call it the “Accidental Office” or the “Office of Haphazard.” An alliterative choice would be the “Devastation Division.”
We could even have a game show where contestants compete for the most brazen rezoning requests in the format of “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”
These ideas can be rolled out with the Pathway to 2040 Comprehensive Plan Update. Developers, get your bulldozers ready. This is going to be fun.
Bill Wright
Gainesville